He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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