We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
worst night to have a conscience
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
