Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
