dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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