Can i not drive my cunt home
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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