She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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