My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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