is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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