so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
