OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
