that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
