Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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