I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
