U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
