Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
