Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
