Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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