Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
two words...techno handjob
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
