did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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