Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
