i jhust puked up my retainher.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
