mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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