my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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