I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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