I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
high people should be assigned attendants
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
