Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
