I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
