I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
