It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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