If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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