So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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