no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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