am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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