You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize