Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize