Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
