My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
