If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
