My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
