She's JV to your varsity
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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