I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize