sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
