we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
