gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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