So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
