I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
