You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
