You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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