please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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