she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
