My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
