As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
