Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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