He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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