Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
