we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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