So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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