So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
