READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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