Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My dick has a subreddit
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
