can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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