It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
