if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
