You're my little dorito
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
