I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What a dumb baby whore.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
